Big Penis Eureka!

I just realized the daily problems of my life would disappear if I had a grotesquely huge penis. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it earlier, but I'm glad I thought of it now. By porn standards, I'd have to hang at least 15 inches to be legitimately "hung".

Oh, the doors that would open!

I would whip myself into muscled shape to make adult movies and hang out at their conventions in Vegas. I wouldn't hurry to hide my privates anymore in the locker room. Life would be so simple. I would become a talk-circuit celebrity and make a killing at seminars and live shows.

Could life get any better? I don't think so.